Category: Motivation

Leaving our own country: Motherland has been cheated

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Leaving our own country: Motherland has been cheated, is an article about the people who left country to pursue their dreams of earning big, settle down in better place etc. I know many people who got education in India, got job in India and then put their day and nights to get into cream list of high performers to settle in countries like USA, UK, Australia, Singapore, New Zealand, Canada, UAE etc. I see following challenges and consequences of doing this.

Unsatisfied from Pay Cheques

Most of the people who left the country have strong reason of not getting proper pay cheques. They always have very high expectations from themselves and think that going to abroad is only way to earn big. They target those countries whose economy or financial condition is better than India so that they get good conversion rate against Indian Rupee.

These people never understand that money is not everything and anything beyond need is useless. Nothing is free in this world and these people pay heavy price for the same by leaving their birth place, parents, food, friends etc. They realize it after so many years when things can’t be reverted.

Status Symbol in the Society

In our society, going abroad is a status symbol. The parameter of success is judged based on getting On-Site opportunity. Parents proudly explain to their relatives and friends that their son or daughter is in USA, Canada, Australia etc. The person himself feels that he is recognized as successful if he gets on-site opportunity. Many people spent years and years in those organization where they are never satisfied just to get on-site opportunity.

Many Service Industries of India are having millions of these kinds of employees. But these people never understand that they must slog hard in abroad compared to India. Because they are paid well so they must work more. Most of the Indian employees slogged 16-18 hours every day during stay in abroad while in India they don’t work more than 8-9 hours in a day. They don’t understand that Indians are accepted in around the globe because of foreign policy of India. If we would have in different country, then going abroad would not be this much easy.

Aspiration from the Childhood

In our country, many cities are there where kids are brought up with the aspiration to go abroad. They have been enforced to take courses or professions like that where scope of going abroad is highest. Like Information Technology field. I know one person in Hyderabad, who did his engineering in Civil, but his relatives and parents enforced him to learn UI technologies to get into Information Technology field.

Now a days, both parents are earning for their livelihood so cannot give time to their kids. They thought that taking kids to Playing area in Mall, buying expensive gifts and gadgets are enough for them. Kids are also bringing up with money minded attitude and that reflects in their growing age. These parents will be left alone because of their dreams of sending their kid to abroad and feel proud in outside world with tears inside.

Problem Escape Attitude

There are many people who do not want to face any problem in their life. They always try shortcut or escape route from the challenges of life. These are also those folks who would like to leave their country if they see any problem. There is huge amount of folks, who left country in every challenging phase of the country whether it is partition, riots, earth quake, drought etc. It is just like that when there is any problem in the family better to leave them instead of solving it.

These people will never able to solve any problem in their life, they always try to have shortcuts in their life. They are ready to marry unknown person to get the citizenship of other countries. They are doing buttering to their bosses to get on-site opportunities. I personally feel them like Escapers. They try to escape from every problem and end in escaping from everywhere. They thought that pay offs their liability is possible by going abroad and earn big. Sometimes few folks like this get trapped in fraudsters.

Conclusion

People may say that leaving country is cheating with motherland, but it is same as when we leave our city to earn. To answer them that it is true in some way, but we are within our country, if country is house then states are rooms in the house but when we leave our country, it is like we left our house and secondly there are a lot of opportunity in India and one tax, one constitution is followed in whole India.

 “Our Former President ‘Dr. APJ Abdul Kalaam told in his autobiography that when any young talent of India leaves his own country, he had been hurt.” There are many folks who left India for finance, better life etc. but they forgot that they are enforced to follow rules of that country which they are not aware of and those countrymen treat them as you come from poor country, the way we think about countries whose citizens come to India to earn.

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Life of a Man: Full of compromises and sacrifices

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Life of a man: full of compromises and sacrifices is an article about men. Thought process of men have changed a lot in cosmopolitan cities. There were days when men were dominated but in cosmopolitan cities, men are very supportive in the families. I would like to share the life of a man is filled with expectations.

Life of a Man as Son

In the young age, man used to have loads of expectation from the family. Parents used to worry about future of a man. If he gets less marks in examinations, he used to criticize. People around that man also put benchmark of success and he feels pressure through out of his life. He always brought up with the expectation that he should have run the family and earn for the family. After certain age, if he is not settled then people start judging his capability. There was not much pressure on woman of the family. If she is earning, then she is self-dependent but if she is not able to do so then also not much criticism for her.

Life of a Man as Husband

Married man in the cosmopolitan cities sacrificed a lot in his life. During bachelor life, he used to enjoy with friends but now he must choose friends as per the choice of his wife. He has to leave many close friends because his wife does not like them. He used to sacrifice his own time and should accompanied his wife in shopping or traveling whether he likes or not. He is not only sacrificing his friends even he should leave couple of family members also as per his wife choice.

Many times, he has been blackmailed by his wife to get love or he should be perfect husband to get respect. I have seen that in many families, husband is struggle to get some respect. Now ladies are equally qualified and financially independent, so they don’t listen to their better half. If they are not earning, then too they know the cost of running the house. She knows that if she is cleaning the house then it costs 3000 INR monthly, if she is cooking food then it is 10000 INR monthly. Husband is not even have earning pressure but saving pressure too and he must listen all complains of his wife.

Life of a Man as Father

The life of a father is much challenging. Now he must help his wife to bring up kids, whether his wife is working or not, but after office hours, he should play with kids, taking care of kids. Weekends used to spend in buying groceries, shopping and babysitting. He should sacrifice all his friend circle and try to make bonding with husbands of his wife’s friends. He must slog harder to fulfill the wishes of kids and family.

Many times, he should sacrifice his own wishes for kids. He cannot live his life in his own way for even one day. He can’t even talk on phone with his friends and relatives because he is occupied with his responsibilities. Many times, nobody asks for a glass of water when he came back from work. He can’t share his pain or problems and involved himself in complains of kids and wife while he is in home. He needs to tell lies to find some time for himself. Mother is also taking pressure to grow the kids but she is having one man to transfer all her pressure and irritation, but father does not have that privilege.

I know that above is not correct for every family but that is the case for most of the nuclear families in cosmopolitan cities. I have written a lot about women empowerment but I thought to share the life of a man also who is now paying the price to earn respect and value in the family.

I request every educated woman that now days, men are very cooperative which they were not earlier, respect their cooperation and understand them. They also need some time for themselves, they are slogging whole day to earn bread and butter for the family and many times they get irritated at their workplace but daily they wake up and going the same place to feed their family. If they are not sharing their problems, it does not mean that they do not have challenges. They do not want to give tension, try to understand them and provide some free time to them. That applies equally to men as well. Women also need time for themselves.

“We need to share the responsibilities and respect each other. It will make life much better and easy.”

Change of Relations affects Life

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Change of Relations affects Life is a topic which will describe the change of relations as growing age. We start our own relations as we grow older. Blood relations are not that much important any more. New relations attract us. Relations, which we made are the most precious for us. Many times, we fight with our parents, siblings for our new relations. Our happiness and sadness depend on the nurturing of our own made relations.

First Stage of Relation

When we are young, about 6-7 years of age. At that time our parents are the most precious relation we have. Our happiness increased when we see our father arrives from office. We always want us surrounded by our parents. We share smallest thing of our life with our parents. Many times, parents do not have time to listen all our stories but then too we keep telling them.

Second Stage of Relation

Second stage of relation is when we age around 10+ years. This is the age we start making friends. Now playing with them in the evening is more important than staying home. Now our story is around them only. This is the age when we learn to involve in gadgets. Now we become more demanding to our parents just to show our new friends. If we fight with our newly made friends, we feel sad. Now our sharing with parents decreased . We do not cherish as before on the arrival of father. we start making our own world.

Third Stage of Relation

Third stage of relation is very critical for anyone’s age. This is the age when we start making intimate relations. This relation demands privacy, so we used to isolate with our parents and siblings. Sometimes siblings are important if they support us in that. Usually this age is after 16 years. We almost stop sharing anything with our parents. Sometimes parents are cooperative, and we do share little but not that much as before. Our happiness and sadness depend on the status of relationship. Now breakup and proposal affect our nervous systems. In this techno world, we have so many mediums to make these relations like Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Tinder, dating apps etc. Now we invest more time in exploring the profile of our newly made relation. We feel the authority in the relation that we own the person with whom we have intimate relation.

Fourth Stage of Relation

Fourth stage is the stage when we leave our house to build our career. This is the time when we completely exposed to the outside world and our survival depends on our social behavior. Now making new relation is not our wish only, need to as well to survive emotionally. Our parents worry for us, but we make sure them that we are alright. We make new relations but every time we are not lucky enough to get good relations. That is the reason of depression for most of the cases. If we have breakup, nobody is there to take care of ourselves. If we have any bad phases in our relations, we cannot discuss with our parents or siblings, who are our true well-wishers. But we do not consider them as we think that they do not know anything about it.

Fifth Stage of Relation

If we can survive fourth stage, we get into fifth stage. A time when we get married and get life partner. This stage is just like transforming era for any person. Suddenly, everything gets changed. No more bachelor parties, no more shopping outing with friends etc. But then too we are liking it because of newness of the relation. This is very challenging to cop up with each other. If it is our decision, then we can’t go to our parents but if it is arranged marriage then involvement of parents is more. Parents still treat us as young kid and keep guiding for everything. Few take it as positively, but few feel offended.

Sixth Stage of Relation

Sixth stage of the relation is the stage when we become parents. This is another transforming stage of our life. We feel responsible and our own family formed. This is our sixth stage but for our kids it is first stage and this cycle keep on going. Now we start feeling the pain of our parents being a parent.

“The important aspect of this cycle that people who are our true well-wishers will remain as it is. We ignore them many times in our life, but they are always there for us. Whenever we need emotional support, despite of looking out, we should reach to them.”

A Journey of Needful to Needy

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A journey of needful to needy is a story of 11 years old boy who is begging for survival but what made him beggar? Was he beggar since childhood or does he become because of any circumstances? These questions were going in my mind when I first saw him at one Tea shop. His leg was broken, and not having any finger in his right hand. Due to curiosity I started talking to him. I don’t know what made him to open his heart in front of me. Usually these children do not talk to people much.

So here is his story in his words:

My name is Chhotu Langda, this is not my real name. My real name was Aaryan, this was the name given by my parents. I don’t remember that how did I get separated from my parents. I was very small, might be 5-6 years old. I don’t remember that how many nights I was without food in dark. But I have not forgotten my real name.  I remember that one day, I was enforced to go on signal for begging with one girl. I used to call her “Didi” (Sister). But she said that in signal call her “Amma” (Mother). She was 12-13 years old at that time. 

That was the day when I become beggar. I tried very hard to beg but I was not getting anything from anyone. Few kind people gave me biscuits/breads to eat. But our master evaluates our begging skills based on pennies. No Money, no food. But I was happy because I was getting food on the signal to feed myself. This was going on for seven days. After seventh day, our master decided that I was not able to get money because I did not have pity look. So, he broke my one leg. That’s how I became “Chhotu Langda”.

His trick worked, or I was afraid, whenever anyone is giving me food, I simply deny and ask for money. This game was going on for few years. Every day I went along with “Didi”, who was so called my “Amma” in front of rich people. 

One day, I came to know that my “Didi” would not come with me. I was sad. I came to know from other people that our boss sold her to some filthy rich person. At that time, I realized that I should run from this place. I tried 2-3 times, when I caught, I have been beaten very badly. I was not able to sleep for 2-3 days because of pain but I couldn’t say no for work (beg). 

One final day, I ran from that hell. I went to railway station and took one train. I did not know the destination, but I did not have any destination to go. I was first time in the train so sit near door and feeling air on my face. I did not know that where I was going but I was feeling very good. I was into different world, but suddenly one loud voice broke my imaginary world. That was voice of Ticket Collector with some policemen. They asked for ticket, I did not know by that time that I should buy ticket to travel in train. I nodded in silence. They took me out from train in next station, that station was Solapur (Maharashtra).

They took me to police station and inquired about me. I told about myself. They asked me that from where I boarded, I told that. They asked for my id cards, I was not having any, but I had one identity card of beggars (which my boss made for me). Police Inspector had pity on me and he send me to “Bal Sudhar Grih” (Child Care Home). Now new story started.

I have been taken to one big hostel where so many kids were there. I have been told that now I would get chance to study, play and eat. I asked where I should beg to get all this. They told that I did not need to beg. For few days, I was very happy. I used to study, play and eat. I was feeling that I am in heaven.

But after few days, one fat guy came to the hostel. He picked few boys/girls and took us in a factory, where we needed to work very hard and for small mistakes, we were not getting food. We must sleep in small bunker where no light, no air. I was smallest and handicapped so was not able to work that much. I was hungry for 3 days, I was not able to sleep. I steal food to feed myself but caught by one security guard. They cut my one finger for the punishment. In this way, I lost my all fingers. 

I ran away from that place and boarded one bus. I spent most of my nights on roadside and dependent on people who waste food and throw in dustbin. I picked that to feed myself.

Back to Present

I asked him that how is he surviving, he asked that he is doing whatever he knows. “Begging”. He is cleaning cars on signals and begging. Sleeping on the roadside. I asked about his parents, but he does not remember. I was trying to help him but after hearing his story, I was not able to do anything. Only thing I did, I took him to restaurant and feed him with full meal. That was the only thing which I could do. 

I don’t know where is he now, but if he can get help in any means will be very helpful. Unfortunately I do not have any picture of him.

  

Coming out of Depression : Is it possible?

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Coming out of Depression: is it possible? This topic will tell that depression is not a disease, it is a state of mind which can be changed. Depression is a state which affects an individual very badly. It eats all the productivity and happiness of a person. I mentioned in my previous article “Make or Break Order:Bipolar Disorder

What is Depression?

Depression is a state in which person feels that we are useless person on the planet, nobody loves us. We are not able to do anything, do not want to face the world. We want to be alone and in dark. Lights are also seeming like our enemy. We do not want to look good. We feel that everybody is leaving us. We are feeling regret for everything we did in past. We are not able to judge what is right or wrong. Small tasks are big for us like bathing, taking glass of water, brushing our teeth etc.

Symptoms of Depression 

As I said, depression is not a disease, it is just a state.
There are following states which we would be in during depression

  1. Feeling very low
  2. Zero productivity
  3. Suicidal Thoughts
  4. Regretting for everything in past
  5. Less or No decision power
  6. Wanted to be alone and in dark
  7. Not able to do small tasks
  8. Do not want to face people
  9. Over sleepy or very lazy

How can we help?

Now, we know that the symptoms of depression, so how we help these people. First, we need to understand that these people are suffering from depression, so we need to be very kind with these people. We should listen them and win their confidence that we are there no matter what. They might try to be away from us, but we should keep trying till we win their confidence. Do not use harsh words for them. When they are discussing their regrets or mistakes of their past, we should listen them carefully and make them realize that whatever happened is not their mistake completely. We should take them out and try to change their mood. The biggest problem of these people that they do not have anyone who can understand them or listen them. Many times, we suggest going to psychiatrist which might not be correct advice.  

How can we come out of depression?

There might be scenarios, where we do not get any person to help us. Then we need to help ourselves. How can we do that? First, we should find something which relax ourselves like writing, dancing, singing, painting, playing, travelling etc. We should focus on those things and start reinventing ourselves. We should find those moments when people praised us, loved us. Always keep those moments in hard form and see whenever we feel like that we are useless fellow.

Nobody in this world born without any quality, only we need to explore that within ourselves. Many times, people are suggesting meditation or visiting to psychiatrist, but it is not necessary that it will work for us as well. Anything which relax us is a kind of meditation. Read about the people who came out of depression. Make our mind to understand that this is just bad state and small effort can change it to good state.

“Depression is not a disease, it is just a state which can be changed just like any other state.” 

Swing of Motivation: Motivation is on swing

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Swing of Motivation:Motivation is on swing, is a topic to explain different phases of our mood swing. In our life, we decide so many things to do but stop doing that after some time or facing challenge to continue. Have we ever thought that what could be the reason? The biggest reason is our motivation level to do the task. Here are few points to explain

Initiative to Decide

We see that our fitness level is not good. our body is deteriorating day by day. We have to control it, We decide that we will do exercise from next day. We are bad in our communication skill, we decide that from tomorrow, we will work on it. We are bad in cooking, we decide that from tomorrow we will learn that. We are used to late to our work, we decide that from tomorrow we will wake up early and be on time. We decide so many things in our life that from tomorrow we will initiate.

Ability to implement initiative

Most of the things, we decide in the past day, forget in next day by giving excuse to ourselves. Either by giving reasons like extra responsibility, or sleep late or postpone to next day. But there are few decisions, we are able to start as well. Like we start going to gym from the next day, or start learning cooking or dance class or start watching communication videos etc. We know it is necessary so we start as priority.

Swing in Motivation

Once we start, we feel very good. Because it is natural practice that when we start something which we decide, we feel happy and wanted to more and more for that. Many times we are involved so much in our new task that we forget our other tasks which were we doing till yesterday. We feel very much motivated towards our new task and less motivated towards our existing tasks. Now all motivation is swing to our new task.

Motivation is on Swing

After some time when we realize that our other tasks are impacting because of our new task, we start blaming that and slowly stop doing whatever we started. Now we feel sad and also prepared an excuse that we stopped doing our new task because it was impacting other work. This is the excuse we give ourselves as well as others who asked about that. Suddenly that new task has taken back seat and we again fall into our daily routine. whatever we were doing earlier and again our life, problems became as before.

Actual Cause

We stopped doing those tasks and sometime later we used to say that we wanted to do that but not getting time from other responsibilities. Actually again we are giving excuse to ourselves and others. The actual reason is not that task, it is us. Our over involvement in new task is the reason to affect our other tasks. We have not made proper schedule for the things. All tasks should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Bound). Many times we forget this “Time Bound”.

Mind Switch ON/OFF

There is switch in our mind which we should use and make it ON and OFF. Like when we leave our house, we used to switch OFF all lights and fans. Similarly we should switch OFF the mind switch for our new task and switch ON our other tasks. We should maintain proper schedule and also prioritize things in our life. 

Control Motivation Swing 

To control the swing of our motivation, first of all we should decide the importance of the new task in our life, how important it is for our life. If it is just because other are doing, better not to do. If it is giving us happiness and relaxation, we should definitely focus on that with Mind Switch. There are several other reasons as well, like health, if we want to be alive, we should focus on our health. Life is very precious and we should take care of that. That is why it has been said “Health is Wealth”.

People used to say that we do not have time, that is just an excuse, every one on this planet has 24 hours, but why few of us are known to world and most of us lost in world. We should ask ourselves, do we really not have time?

 

Young Entrepreneurs: Inspiring India, Inspiring Me

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Young Entrepreneurs: Inspiring India, Inspiring Me-  ‘Thoughtsnviews‘ was launched 6 months back. I used to share Daily Thoughts or article notifications to my all contacts. In my notification list, my college professors are also there, so they were getting regular notification and one day they told me that I write good, I should come to college and inspire new generations. I was very excited, but not sure what would I say.

Call from College

One day, when I was on my way to Jagannath Puri (will write about this journey in separate article), I got call from my professor, Dr. Manoj Choubey from GLAITM. He was booking my flight tickets for E-Conclave, an initiative to promote start-ups. I asked what I would do to come there, he told that I would be part of panel and answer questions about my success. They confirmed my dates and booked my return flights from Hyderabad to Delhi.

Start of Nervous Journey

I was nervous, what would I do, or what would I say in that panel. With this nervousness, I boarded flight from Hyderabad at 5:45 AM. I reached around 8 AM, I got call from one student of my college that cab is waiting for you at airport. I came out, that driver was very nice person, he told that he needs to pick two more people from Kalkaji. My nervousness or feeling of good for nothing increased when I met two other folks, one is from 2016 batch of my college, who refused three offers from IT company to follow his own dream. He was MTV dropout contestant and level of confidence was very high, his name was Shiv. Second person I met was Nishant, who was Assistant Director in MTV and working as a creative director in Delhi. Nishant and Shiv had a very good bonding, I was feeling like odd one. Anyways we reached college around 3 PM, immediately had lunch, there I met another lady called Priyanka, who was just 21 years old and winner of MTV drop-outs. I saw a lot of love for Shiv from college folks, I went to college after 11 years, so except few professors, nobody knows me. I was getting bored but excited to get room in college guest house, which I had never seen from inside during my college days. The college was much bigger than earlier, now every branch has different buildings. Girls Hostel is also inside campus, which was not the case in our time. The strength of college increased from 1500 to 12000 in 11 years.

A Session of Inspiration

Around 6 PM, there was first session of E-conclave, where people are telling about their story, Shiv, Nishant, Priyanka, along with Sadiya Naseem (GlamStudio Founder and CEO from Hyderabad) participated, which inspired me but made me more nervous. My session was next day. Professors introduced me to others like multi-talented writer who is running two websites along with his job. At last I saw one talk show with one 23 years old girl Prajakta Koli, who had 9 lac subscribers by that time (now it is 1.6M+) in her you tube channel. She was introduced like You Tube Sensation. Students were crazy for her, everyone was jumping to take selfies with her and Nishant.

Question Hour to get Stumped

After we came back to guest house, I took a walk around college and met couple of people who joined for next day session. I saw everyone was either very innovative or earning big amount. Most of the people were discussing about funding from government, meeting with ministers etc. But I got inspired with two young chaps Praveen and Sindhuja from Coimbatore, who were passed out from NIFT and started their business with just 1 million and in three years reached up to 200 Million INR mark. I verified this on google and it was verified. I was amazed. Then I met Ranjit who took ownership to fix roads by just identifying patches using mobile, Adil, who was helping visitors to get treatment in India, Rahul, who created App in Delhi to fix labor cost by make it on hourly basis, Abhishek, who was providing MVP to 4000+ startups. They all were in the panel along with me and I was speechless among these giants. Because I was just a blogger without earning a single penny.

Transforming Questions

People asked me about competitions and numbers of blogs on web. How am I different? This lead me to add some uniqueness in the blog. I told them that I would like to make this blog as supermarket of web, where you get everything, whatever you want to read. Now I can proudly say that this is first blog with Audio in English and Hindi. where you can hear all articles as playlist.

I launched Discussion Forum with financial benefits to the users, where anyone can earn from home, took Google Ad sense. But frankly speaking my motive is not to earn big money, my motive is to help as many people as I can.

Basic Education is Necessary to Build Foundation

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Recently, I met a student who was studying in class 12th. During my talk with him, I came to know that his thought process is that, his parents wasted money on his education, he wants to become athlete and if his parents might have invested 7-7.5 lac amount to buy any plot instead of investing money on his education, he would have been more rich.. This thought enforced me to write an article on importance of basic education. Many students are thinking that they are getting education to do job, and all sportsperson wasted their time in education which is BIG MYTH.

People are thinking that if Virat Kohli had not studied then too he would be a  great cricketer. Yes it might be true but he has studied till 12th. If he did not get education then he might not be able to handle millions of INRs. If Amitabh Bachhan had not studied, he might never be able to host KBC (Kaun Banega Crorepati, hindi version of “Who wants to be millionaire”) or setup his own production house. 

Students who are thinking that they are studying to get job and if they want to become Engineer, then there is no importance of Biology, Hindi, English or Sociology like subjects, I would like to tell all those students that till 12th, Education is to build foundation, it is not for to earn. Once our basics are clear, then we can build our career in any field. After 12th whatever course we undertake that is responsible to narrow down our career path, but till then it’s our responsibility to make our knowledge as wide as possible.

There are many in this world, who do not get chance to get education but still they try to learn from their lives. We are fortunate that our parents were capable enough to provide us education whatever best they could. If we calculate total fees they spend in our education and think that instead of they should buy some property or other, then we might not be able to survive in this cruel world if our parents would have thought in other way around. If we do not get basic education then our foundation would be very weak. Learning is faster during young age, as we grow up, our learning curve goes down.

“To build big tower strong, we should have deeper foundation. To build successful career, basic education is the foundation. “

Answer this question of importance of winning

Building Reputation in Office: Attitude Required

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When we join any organization, we are always worried about building our reputation. We want that every person in the organization should only think  positive about us. Is it happened automatically? No! There are a lot of efforts we have to put to make it happen. I have tried  to put few points which can be useful to build image in an organization. These are as follows

    Seven Steps to Build Reputation in Office
  • Sense of Ownership: This is a very important aspect to build image in the organization. Whenever any task is assigned to us, it is our own responsibility to finish it on time with quality. One of my previous manager told me that my deliverable are my baby. I have to nurture, develop it as my baby. This is my responsibility to develop error free and take it to production. The same applies to everyone who wants to build good image in the organization. The task which is assigned to us is not only organization’s or supervisor’s work. Management like those people who take ownership and drive it till the end.
  • Gratitude: This is second aspect in the organization, no matter whatever position we hold in the organization, we should always acknowledge and appreciate the person who helped us in our task by any means. Expressing gratitude does magic in workplace. People always love appreciation and it does not mean that if we are junior, we can not appreciate our seniors.
  • Listening Others: This also plays a very important role in building image. I personally learnt from my experience that listening to others is equally important to puttinv up our point. People do not like those who keep on putting their points without listening their peers and seniors. Many times, if we listen to others, our points are already covered.
  • Respect Everyone: I have seen that many people who are into senior positions, they are used to disrespect junior resources. That impacts our reputation badly. Every individual is special and we have to respect that one. All employees get into the organization because they have some skills. I learnt a lot from my juniors. Respect is give and take thing, if we respect others, it will reciprocate to us as well.
  • Dress Up: Many people think that dressing code is not very much important. Many organizations removed dress code in their organization. I personally feel that workplace is a temple, from where we are getting our bread and butter. So I strictly follow dress code in the organization. Monday to Thursday, formal wear and smart casual on Friday. Dressing up shows our attitude towards our organization and also gives us a lot of confidence. For example, in marriage, if we go in shorts and t-shirts, we will feel very awkward. 
  • Communication: This is very important in any organization. Management always love those folks, who communicate on time and effectively. If we do any mistake or blunder also, proper communication will be helpful to mitigate the risk. There are so many mediums of communication in the organization, we should utilize and communicate on time. This plays an important role in building reputation.
  • Respect Time: People always love punctual people. We have to respect time, then time will respect us. If we have any meeting, whether we are senior or junior, should try to be always on time, if we are getting late for any reason, it should be informed to all stakeholders. If our time is important, others is equally important.   

To summarize, building reputation is not tough, if we consider above mentioned points. Once we adopt the above mentioned points in  our attitude, then wherever we go, people will respect us.

 

Apple can’t be an Orange, Apple is Apple only

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Start of Comparison

Before we born in this world, people start to evaluate us with our actions which we never know. The moment we come into the womb, our mother discuss with other mothers like that how many kicks in one go, compare to theirs, what is our pulse rate comparatively etc. Although this comparison is done to increase the knowledge of new parents. But comparison is everywhere in our entire life.

 Once we come out into this world, then our growth is compared with other kids like, at what time our tooth comes, when do we start walking, talking etc. By comparing these natural things, we worry ourselves which might be unnecessary. So my point is very simple, that every child is special and unique. Comparison is good to set goals or also understand whether that task is achievable or not, but it should not be reason of inferiority.

 When our academic results come out, all students who are into same standard during that time, everyone’s marks are compared. This made so many students complex and few take unwanted decisions because of stress. Our society have been made like, that motivation can come only by comparison, which is not 100% true.

Effect of Comparison

 Once we complete our graduation, teachers, parents, relatives all start comparing and judging our capabilities on the basis of job offers. I have seen many of my friends broke because of this comparison, many did not go home because they did not have offers in hand. Many took degree programs because of society pressure. Parents put their child into program because their friend’s kids are taking up. Comparison and Expectations are the main reasons for stress and anxiety.

Now a day, society is accepting uniqueness of individuals but comparison is always there. When we try to make one individual like other, it is like, we are trying to make Apple to Orange irrespective of fact that both are different fruits and can’t be same. Both fruits have unique tastes. Apple can’t be an Orange, Apple is Apple Only.

I would like to share one video of Evelyn Parham, who told How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – 10 Tips”

Make or Break Order: Bipolar Disorder

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Is bipolar a mental disorder? There is a myth that Bipolar is mental disorder. It is just mood swing not more than that. Sometimes we feel very happy and sometimes we feel very sad. Usually we termed as that it is very common phenomenon in any individual. Nobody can be in same mood always.

In our life, sometimes things are not going in our way then we feel bad but when things are going as expected we feel happy. We have heard these words so many times in our life, one “Leave me Alone” and second “I am on the top of the world today“. It clearly shows that in which mood are we in. But there are many things which need to be noticed whenever you hear these two words either by ourselves or by somebody else. If  we have left most or right most feelings in following things during our mood swing then we need little help.

If we are lying into left most column then we are Hypermanic and if we have right most then we are having depression. If any person has both then that person is having BIPOLAR DISORDER.

In medical terms, our mood lies in the scale of 1-10. 1 is for low and 10 is for hyper. Usually our mood swing is happened between 4-6 but bipolar disorder person has mood swing from 1-10.  Hyper is very dangerous for relations, usually we lost relations during this time, while depression is very tough to do small tasks as well like taking bath, having brush, wake up from bed etc.

Bipolar is not any disease, it is a neurological imbalance, which can be happened because of many reasons, like

  • loneliness is one of the biggest reason
  • heavy load of expectation
  • fear in work
  • tension in relationship
  • stressful environment
  • improper timetable etc

In USA more than 10 million people are affected with that but there is a huge list of people who do not believe that they have any problem or they need any help. I feel like that people affected from bipolar have some special qualities. Just go through this list to know ,12 most famous people who affected with bipolar in the world. There are so many Indians as well.  Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Honey Singh, Randeep Hooda are just few of them.

People who suffered from Bipolar, need help. Need someone to be with them. Understand them, listen them, they should not be judgmental. Bipolar may say bad words or abuse others but in actual they are not like that. They might be not able to do small tasks but I am sure, they are trying their level best. Just bear with them for sometime. Go through this link to understand, how can we help.

Bipolar affected people are special people. If they get help, they can conquer the world, else they leave the world with BIG Question. Whenever you see any kind of person around you, don’t ignore them and never ever use word MAD for them, because “mad is a very mad word”. 

 

Never Give Up: It’s not a trait, it’s an attitude

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When we face any tough situation in our life, we always curse that situation. Actually we are afraid from the failure and can not accept the failure. If we start anything new, we leave it just after one or two failures. But when we see any person around us, who is keep on trying then we tell that this person has some special quality. 

Success is never be an easy fruit, it requires a lot of effort and hard work. It is similar that when you rope one seed, you can not expect fruit in very next day, it will take its own time. We need to plant it, watered it, take care of it, then it will be ready to give us fruit. If we take example of many successful people around us, we find that taking initiative is courage but continue with that initiative is bigger courage. There are many people who are very good in initiative but failed to sustain with that. The reason is very simple, fear of failure or they feel that if they continue, they might fail again.

If we take example of Sachin Tendulkar, who was once in a situation, where he was suffered from Back Injury and Tennis Elbow issues. He was 33 years, earned enough money but then too he never wanted to end his career because of health issue. He went to basics and tried very hard, finally he got the place back in Indian team and lifted World Cup in 2011, his ultimate dream. He is known as “God of Cricket”. Similarly if we take example of Amitabh Bachchan, he is second name of Never Give Up. He started his journey with struggle, but after featured in 100 movies, he started again at the age of 58 years. He went to basics and asked for work to producers and directors. He featured in Television first time through “Kaun Banega Crorepati”(Who will be Millionaire?). He has been known as “Mahanayak of the Century“. 

Many people say that Sachin Tendulkar or Amitabh Bachchan are special people. They have special trait which everyone does not have. Yes they have God gifted talent but never give up is not their trait, it’s an attitude towards their dream. If you strongly dream for something, if you are determined for it then definitely God would be enforced to fulfill that.

We used to enforce “Never Give Up” to our kids, like if they fail in one standard, we are asking to appear it again, Why? Because we know that if he/she keeps on trying, success will come. Then why don’t we implement the same on ourselves. We should understand that talent can be God gifted but “Never Give up” is not a trait, it’s an Attitude.

 

Building Parallel System is essential if you are in J.O.B.

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When we get selected in Multi National Company, we are very excited. Our family also thinks that now our future is secure. We are going to earn for next 30-40 years and become financially stable. They start thinking about their next responsibility like getting perfect match, house planning etc. Then we get into the organization and amazed with infrastructure. Free lunches excite us. We enjoy Team Lunch and Outing. There is different meaning of enjoyment. In initial days we do not have much work, so getting hefty salary is too much for us. We start spending without thinking, we start buying which we always wanted to buy in our life, riding Royal En-field, iPhone getting spa in top class parlor, getting haircut in lavish saloons. We also buy expensive gifts for our family and friends. Life is perfect now.

Once we are 1-year-old into the organization, we start getting little pressure, we feel annoyed but our managers start making us realize that we are hired for work not for enjoyment. We get serious for work and also calculate hours we spend in work. We are paid only for 8 hours so will work only that much. Suddenly salary seems less. We are not able to enjoy the expensive gadgets, Xbox, Ducati etc we bought. This continues for next 5 years.

Once we complete 5 years, we need to pause and start thinking to earn something in parallel. Few are investing in stocks, few are looking for the scope of freelancing, restaurants etc. But there is major chunk of people who think that they are going to earn from their Job forever. Those folks are in fantasy world. They may continue for next 5 years with more focus or with routine work. This is the time, our honeymoon period in the industry is over. Now we start listening cost cuttings, ramp downs of our peers etc. We start worrying now, that we may also lose job. Then we think about job switch or start evaluating ourselves in the market. We prepare for interviews. In the first interview itself, we will come to know that market is very much demanding for 10 years experienced folk. We may think that might be getting job in other organizations is not easy. Few people went into depression because now we have so many loans to clear, take care of family, pressure to maintain lavish life.

The people who started something after 5 years, they are in much better position now. Stock market people may have very good portfolio and earning good from stock market. Freelancing people are on the verge of starting their own organization. Restaurant people are already earning more than their monthly salary. But what about us, now we thought to follow these people. Suddenly our number also come and we fired. We lost the job. We think that we are late in building parallel system initiative. 

In job, honeymoon period is for 10 years. People who spend all 10 years as honeymoon period, they are the ones who kicked out first. The people who spent only 1 or 2 years as honeymoon and other 8 years with dedication, they may survive for next 10 years. But they can also not guarantee for their job. 

Many times we have been targeted by folks to get into Multi Level Marketing by giving above reasons. Many people involved into that as well. But in my opinion it only makes worse our situation rather than improving. If you get your first earning today, Congratulations!! But start investing as well and work towards your parallel system.

“It is better to start as soon as possible to work towards building parallel system. Go through my another article ‘Plan Your future, future will plan for you‘”

 

99% People are pulling you down, 1% are enough to bring you up

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You have seen many people around you, who always want you to do conventional things. The moment you start doing anything different, they start criticizing you. Have you ever thought, why it is like that? The reason is very simple, the people who does not want you to grow, they criticize, but people who care for you, they protect you to fail. So they always tell you that it may be tough, try something conventional or easy. These are our parents, who never want their kid to try unconventional tasks. They also have fear of society, “Log kya Kahenge?” (What will people say?).

It is rule of nature, the more you try, the more success you get. If you take example of any famous personality, you can feel that they faced criticism, started from their family, relatives, so-called friends, teachers etc. Dhiru Bhai Ambani, a name which does not require any introduction today. His journey was not easy in initial days, he was criticized by his father, teachers etc. He went to other country where he was selling Petrol Tanks. The moment he realized his potential, he left the job and started his own work. He faced a lot of criticism but what he achieved in his lifetime, needs no explanation. The story of successful people never ends here. Conventional tasks are easy to do and very common. But unconventional tasks need courage to start and difficult, because of criticism.

Another example of the person who taught us, how to face criticism. Narendra Modi, my inspiration, my strength, his journey was never smooth. He is still on nails throne. He had/has been criticized a lot but he never stops his Karma. He was shaken so many times because of criticism or tough situations, but he kept on doing whatever is required. Today, he is most respected person on the earth, Prime Minister of India.  

 I always think that what was the source of their motivation, while observing deeply, I found that they had few people, who always encouraged them to keep moving. Then I came to the point that you need few people in your life, who always encourage you, motivates you. Those few people are your 1%, who will make you feel that you can do it and these are more than enough. We should not be worry for remaining 99% because they will keep you criticizing till you succeed. These 99% are also your strength, who make benchmark of success for you. When I started writing or did any unconventional thing, I got criticism, but what made me to keep moving? Narendra Modi, Yes he is the one, I used to see his videos, speeches, to make myself motivated.

Our parents used to taught us, think about yourself, don’t worry about others. I want to tell, all those parents that you are making your kid selfish and self-centered. One day, when he will grown up and think about himself and his family only, then you would feel dejected. Try to teach him feeling of sharing, love, importance of togetherness, this will make him mentally and emotionally very strong. This is important for him to face the world.

Whenever you start any thing which is unconventional, it is difficult for the society around you to digest, they do not want you to proceed, either they feel that you will be successful or they are having fear that they can not do the same. So whenever you face criticism, feel like that you are doing something which others are not able to do. You should feel proud on it.

Many times we do not do things, because of society. We want to dance in rain but don’t do because of image spoil. You want to play, but not, because you think that you are old enough to play. There are many people, who do not want to do any unconventional things because of fear of criticism. These people want every other person in their surrounding to be fearful to make them comfortable. You might heard of Frog in Well, he always want that all frogs should be in Well only.

So never afraid about these 99% people, they are sick and can not help you by any means. Search for those 1%, who will become your strength and motivate you, towards your goal”.

Survival in IT: What does it take?

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Being an IT person, it was expected from me to write something about my IT experience. I spent 11 years into this IT world. I came across various challenges and also came up with my own perspective that what made me to survive this long. You can relate yourself with this post, if you are less experience but lost your job because of performance issue or you are 5+ years of experienced but lost your job because of some organization politics, performance or cost cutting. If you are in any private job then also you can relate yourself with this post. This post is not only for those people who lost their job but for those people as well who are in stress or fear to lose job. Now coming to the point, what is required to keep you in your job. In my opinion, three basic things are required, if you want to survive in IT world.

Knowledge:  Knowledge is the first requirement to be in any job. If you do not have knowledge, you would not be in IT industry or any job. I am B.Tech in Electronics and Communication but needed to study C language to get into IT world. So it is required that you should keep updating yourself with latest technology because Technology is changing very quickly and it is required that we should be updated with latest trends in market.

For example, if you know Relational databases like My SQL, Oracle, but organization is decided to move towards No SQL Databases, then to continue with database field for you, it is required to know No SQL Databases like Mongo DB or Cassandra etc. Try to get Professional certifications whenever you get chance. I personally feel that knowledge of anything, is never wasted.

Attitude: Attitude towards learning is most important in IT world. I have seen many people, who does not want to change their stream. Like if someone is working on JAVA or UNIX, they want to continue or explore options only in these fields. These people may be the first one, who will lose their job, when project in those technologies is not available in the organization. Organizations run with people and people run with organization. Company needs you more than you need organization, that is why organization tries to fit you in some or other project.

To survive in IT industry, you should be flexible and, always ready to learn new technology because “Technology will change but Attitude towards learning should not be changed”.  

Connections: This is also very important to sustain in IT industry. I worked in four organizations so far in 11 years, but I am still in touch with my first company folks. I have seen many people, who leave the current organization and never put efforts to connect with their previous organization bosses or peer. Remember one thing, if you are growing in IT industry, your peers and bosses are also growing. we know very well that “Out of sight is out of mind“. We have heard this statement many times “Pehle batana the yaar, mere paas opening thi, par tumne bataya hi nahi” (You should have told me before, I was having opening but you did not tell me earlier). Also don’t call your ex colleagues or bosses only when you need help. They should not feel like that you call them only in need, that will give a wrong impression. 

Many times, your connections help you to get job during your dark days. IT industry progresses in Sinusoidal curve, so you will see ups and down for sure. You never know, that your friend or your boss is in that position, where he/she can take you in their organization very easily but as you did not have connection, you might lose the opportunity. 

The beauty of private job is that, it is not permanent, so whenever you are not liking organization or people or city, you can switch. Never creep about your organization or peer because it may spoil your image. Try to maintain good image in your circle because it’s very hard to change the perception. I learnt from one of my previous manager, “Either Love it or leave it, don’t creep about it”.